Father Christmas (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
father_chris) wrote2014-01-02 08:32 pm
father_chris) wrote2014-01-02 08:32 pm
(no subject)
"Owen! We've got a crisis!" Chris bellows when he gets back from the bar.
The seventeen-year-old apprentice in the living room nearly drops his glass. Chris debates whether or not to just leave him here, given the lad has only so far helped with presents. He's not even managed to grow himself a beard yet. But Chris values his company, as one of the few people outside the bar he can be himself with.
"Wrong present?" Owen asks, anxiously.
"Too bleedin' right, we've got Krampus." Chris says, getting his jacket. "We need to get down the Ministry, right now."
"On New Year's? Will they be open?" Owen asks. "What's Krampus, some sort of disease?"
"It's a monster, it's taken people. Someone's been messing with the naughty list and you need to come along with me so we can tell them it weren't you."
They climb up onto the roof, Chris mutters a few words, and they jump down the chimney. They land in the Ministry with a cloud of soot. Owen's eyes widen as they go down the corridor.
"Elpyors Elf." Chris says formally to the receptionist, whose eyes snap up. "We must speak with Elf and Safety at once. It's Krampus."
Elpyors opens his mouth to speak, but closes it, and instead leads them straight through. The Elf and Safety Inspector looks up from his desk, listens to their tale, then leads them straight through to the Elves New Year Party. He carries a candy cane, which he bangs on the floor with a mighty boom, and all the elves look around.
"Krampus has been summoned." the Inspector says, in an icy voice that holds everyone still. "The Anomalies department will stand forward. Bring me Elf Feeyeetin, Elf Sparr, Elf Klubb, and Elf Azarrde!"
Trembling, the four elves stand forward. The inspector begins his angry chastisement, until suddenly Azarrde stands forward.
"It was me!" she snaps. "I did it! I was sick of trailing through the files - they aren't even from our universe, they don't deserve our time and effort! I didn't want to set Krampus on them but at least it will teach them not to be selfish and ask for what isn't theirs!"
"None of them asked for it!" Chris bellows. "Milliways is full of anomalies; presents come through from the past, from the future, from alternate universes! It's a mess, but it needs to be fixed, and none of these people has done anything to deserve Krampus! You messed with children, you frightened people, one of them is pregnant..."
"You will give a list of people you have harmed, and then you will be sent to the Elf Retreat." the Inspector declares. "Your crime was not intended to harm severely. After this you will return to a less stressful role."
He turns back to Chris.
"You must find Krampus and defeat him before midnight on the sixth of January." He hands him the candy cane. "Use this, and the power of the twelve days."
The seventeen-year-old apprentice in the living room nearly drops his glass. Chris debates whether or not to just leave him here, given the lad has only so far helped with presents. He's not even managed to grow himself a beard yet. But Chris values his company, as one of the few people outside the bar he can be himself with.
"Wrong present?" Owen asks, anxiously.
"Too bleedin' right, we've got Krampus." Chris says, getting his jacket. "We need to get down the Ministry, right now."
"On New Year's? Will they be open?" Owen asks. "What's Krampus, some sort of disease?"
"It's a monster, it's taken people. Someone's been messing with the naughty list and you need to come along with me so we can tell them it weren't you."
They climb up onto the roof, Chris mutters a few words, and they jump down the chimney. They land in the Ministry with a cloud of soot. Owen's eyes widen as they go down the corridor.
"Elpyors Elf." Chris says formally to the receptionist, whose eyes snap up. "We must speak with Elf and Safety at once. It's Krampus."
Elpyors opens his mouth to speak, but closes it, and instead leads them straight through. The Elf and Safety Inspector looks up from his desk, listens to their tale, then leads them straight through to the Elves New Year Party. He carries a candy cane, which he bangs on the floor with a mighty boom, and all the elves look around.
"Krampus has been summoned." the Inspector says, in an icy voice that holds everyone still. "The Anomalies department will stand forward. Bring me Elf Feeyeetin, Elf Sparr, Elf Klubb, and Elf Azarrde!"
Trembling, the four elves stand forward. The inspector begins his angry chastisement, until suddenly Azarrde stands forward.
"It was me!" she snaps. "I did it! I was sick of trailing through the files - they aren't even from our universe, they don't deserve our time and effort! I didn't want to set Krampus on them but at least it will teach them not to be selfish and ask for what isn't theirs!"
"None of them asked for it!" Chris bellows. "Milliways is full of anomalies; presents come through from the past, from the future, from alternate universes! It's a mess, but it needs to be fixed, and none of these people has done anything to deserve Krampus! You messed with children, you frightened people, one of them is pregnant..."
"You will give a list of people you have harmed, and then you will be sent to the Elf Retreat." the Inspector declares. "Your crime was not intended to harm severely. After this you will return to a less stressful role."
He turns back to Chris.
"You must find Krampus and defeat him before midnight on the sixth of January." He hands him the candy cane. "Use this, and the power of the twelve days."