Father Christmas (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
father_chris) wrote2013-12-14 10:44 pm
father_chris) wrote2013-12-14 10:44 pm
(no subject)
The book was worrying him.
It was a terribly busy time of year to be going down to the ministry, but eventually Chris couldn't wait any longer. He made his way to his house's roof, stepped onto the chimney, muttered a couple of words and jumped down.
A cloud of soot billowed out as he landed in the Ministry of Elf. He shook it off and wandered up the corridor, putting the book down on the reception desk.
"There's a problem with me bloomin' book." he says to Elpyors, the elf hunched at the desk. Elpyors doesn't look up from his crossword.
"Eez it de voodvurm?"
"No, it's hissing."
"Eezing? Eez meant to do that."
"More than usual." Chris persists. "And it's hot, and there's a mistake in it."
"Meeztake?" Elpyors looks up now. "No meeeztakes."
"You've put Enzo Matrix in the Naughty list." Chris says. "Enzo Matrix helped rescue me from burglars last year, he's a good kid, he literally saved Christmas."
"Perhaps theess year he is naughty." Elpyors says, with a toothy grin.
Chris sighs. He knows why they put Elpyors on reception - mainly as a barrier against timewasters. Sadly, his encyclopaedic knowledge of the ministry comes with a tendency to be supremely unhelpful.
"I want to see the team, please." he says patiently.
"Verry beezy, shoo!" Elpyors says, waving a hand.
Chris scowls and takes his book. As soon as he gets back to the house, he puts it on the table, takes a pen and scores out the name in the naughty section, rewriting it in the nice section.
He glances down the next few pages of the section, trying to pick out if there are any more names that shouldn't be there. But there's nothing obvious when there are thousands of names in order of processing by the ministry rather than location or alphabet.
***
After the first few, it had got easier.
Azarrde had a good poker face, when Sparr had come over to see what she was working on.
"That's a nice book." she had said, looking at the hardback Azarrde had ordered up from the supplies.
"It is, isn't it?" Azarrde waited for Sparr to turn back to her work, then carefully and strategically placed dust on the book before wrapping it.
'NAUGHTY'
The next a lamp, a simple twist of the wiring. Such a pretty lamp, see how it should glow.
'NAUGHTY'
A pair of blocks. In a beautiful gold pen, she writes on one 'Matter', and on the other 'Antimatter'.
'NAUGHTY'
A rubber duck attached to a plug.
'NAUGHTY'
The next one she stops at. Her brow creases to a frown, as she tries to think. Darn near indestructible, quite certainly almost impossible to shock, and probably immune to the... thing. The absurdity of it; it would be more effort to punish this one.
'NICE'
It was a terribly busy time of year to be going down to the ministry, but eventually Chris couldn't wait any longer. He made his way to his house's roof, stepped onto the chimney, muttered a couple of words and jumped down.
A cloud of soot billowed out as he landed in the Ministry of Elf. He shook it off and wandered up the corridor, putting the book down on the reception desk.
"There's a problem with me bloomin' book." he says to Elpyors, the elf hunched at the desk. Elpyors doesn't look up from his crossword.
"Eez it de voodvurm?"
"No, it's hissing."
"Eezing? Eez meant to do that."
"More than usual." Chris persists. "And it's hot, and there's a mistake in it."
"Meeztake?" Elpyors looks up now. "No meeeztakes."
"You've put Enzo Matrix in the Naughty list." Chris says. "Enzo Matrix helped rescue me from burglars last year, he's a good kid, he literally saved Christmas."
"Perhaps theess year he is naughty." Elpyors says, with a toothy grin.
Chris sighs. He knows why they put Elpyors on reception - mainly as a barrier against timewasters. Sadly, his encyclopaedic knowledge of the ministry comes with a tendency to be supremely unhelpful.
"I want to see the team, please." he says patiently.
"Verry beezy, shoo!" Elpyors says, waving a hand.
Chris scowls and takes his book. As soon as he gets back to the house, he puts it on the table, takes a pen and scores out the name in the naughty section, rewriting it in the nice section.
He glances down the next few pages of the section, trying to pick out if there are any more names that shouldn't be there. But there's nothing obvious when there are thousands of names in order of processing by the ministry rather than location or alphabet.
***
After the first few, it had got easier.
Azarrde had a good poker face, when Sparr had come over to see what she was working on.
"That's a nice book." she had said, looking at the hardback Azarrde had ordered up from the supplies.
"It is, isn't it?" Azarrde waited for Sparr to turn back to her work, then carefully and strategically placed dust on the book before wrapping it.
'NAUGHTY'
The next a lamp, a simple twist of the wiring. Such a pretty lamp, see how it should glow.
'NAUGHTY'
A pair of blocks. In a beautiful gold pen, she writes on one 'Matter', and on the other 'Antimatter'.
'NAUGHTY'
A rubber duck attached to a plug.
'NAUGHTY'
The next one she stops at. Her brow creases to a frown, as she tries to think. Darn near indestructible, quite certainly almost impossible to shock, and probably immune to the... thing. The absurdity of it; it would be more effort to punish this one.
'NICE'